Spiritual Bypassing Examples

Spiritual bypassing examples can help people to fully understand the concept. More and more spiritual teachers are talking about spiritual bypassing. It’s important for spiritual seekers to understand what it is. Why? Because it’s a common trap on the spiritual path.

First let’s start with the definition of spiritual bypassing. It means to use spiritual practices to avoid facing unfinished development, emotional or psychological wounds. John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher, created the term. Welwood shares spiritual bypassing examples such as, “Absolute truth is favored over relative truth, the impersonal over the personal, emptiness over form, transcendence over embodiment, and detachment over feeling.” You can read an excellent article by Welwood on spiritual bypassing here.

What does spiritual bypassing look like? Below are some specific examples. All of these are based on true stories. All of these examples show the resolution to the specific type of spiritual bypassing discussed. It’s important to know not just what spiritual bypassing is, but how to fix it if you are engaged in it.

• Phil’s father had treated him terribly as child. His father suffered from trauma as a result of spending the first five years of his life in an orphanage. Phil’s father never received help for his trauma. At times he would rage uncontrollably, beating Phil and berating him. Phil spent his entire childhood feeling like he was walking on eggshells, never knowing when his father would erupt. As an adult, Phil found solace in his growing spirituality. He went to several healers who all told him he needed to forgive his father. Forgiving would free Phil from the karma with his father, they said. The healers all sympathized with the ordeals his father had gone through as a child. Phil tried and tried to forgive him, but it all seemed like a mental exercise. Phil wondered what was wrong with him when his attempts at forgiveness didn’t work. The little bit of trust he had in himself was beginning to fade, as nothing seemed to work to relieve him of the pain of his childhood. As a last resort Phil went to a hypnotherapist. Instead of working on forgiveness, the hypnotherapist validated Phil’s experience. He clearly stated that Phil had been abused as a child, and that it was wrong. He pointed out that Phil’s father could have sought treatment, and didn’t. He also pointed out that his mother could have set a boundary with his father, and chose not to. This clarity helped Phil’s confused inner child understand the abuse wasn’t his fault. He helped Phil process his grief. Phil learned to love himself, and create a secure relationship with himself. As he did this, he stopped unconsciously seeking love and approval from others. Phil learned about setting boundaries and made sure that he did not allow abuse in his present life. One day Phil realized that he had, inadvertently, forgiven both his parents. It had happened as a side-effect of his inner work. The spiritual bypassing in this example is rushing to forgiveness. You can read more about rushing to forgiveness here.
• Maria’s mother loved to criticize her. It seemed that nothing Maria did was good enough for her mother. She longed for the close mother-daughter relationships that some of her friends had. Maria learned about manifesting and the law of attraction (LOA) and started to apply it to her life. Everyday, Maria visualized her mother treating her kindly, praising her, and showering her with love. Amazingly, it began to work. Maria noticed that as her vibration lifted, her mother became less critical. Maria spent an hour every morning visualizing her ideal life and her ideal relationship with her mother. Before every call with her mother, Maria took a few minutes to visualize a happy conversation. A couple months later, Maria went through a difficult time at work. She didn’t have as much time to visualize and she needed support. Instead of supporting her through this tough time, her mother amped up the criticism. Maria reached a breaking point and went to a spiritually-based counselor for help. Maria wanted help manifesting the perfect relationship with her mother. But the counselor told Maria that what she really needed was to accept people for who they are, learn boundaries and learn how to love herself. She advised Maria to spend less time talking to her critical mother while she worked on herself and got through her difficult time at work. A couple months later Maria talked to her mother and told her, “If you don’t have anything supportive to say don’t say anything at all,” and she meant it! She felt the fire in her belly as she said those words. Maria accepted that her mother was harsh and critical and that it wasn’t her job to fix her. Her job was to set boundaries with low-frequency energy, and she was getting better at doing that. Maria processed the grief of her mother wound. As she stopped wasting energy trying to change another person, more positive energy flowed into her life. She got a new job at a family-based business and thrived in the supportive environment. She enjoyed the company of her friends, and sometimes she imagined having a loving relationship with her own daughter in the future. The spiritual bypassing in this example is using LOA as a cover for setting boundaries.
• Anna is a spiritual teacher. She had a normal childhood, but had suffered a series of traumas and accidents in her twenties. After one accident she had a near-death experience (NDE) which changed her life forever. Anna came back from her NDE with a healing gift. She began working as a healer. While connected to the spiritual realms, Anna felt amazing. But as soon as she “came back to Earth” she felt not so great. She suffered from frequent headaches, brain fog, and lately she was easily irritated and triggered. Anna was annoyed that she helped so many people heal their issues, but her own seemed unsolvable. She floundered for many years in this state. “I can’t go on like this,” Anna cried out one day. “Please help me,” she said to her Soul. Anna begin seeing signs and synchronicities about chiropractic everywhere. Anna ignored them, and continued to give herself spiritually based treatments. She knew that everything was energy, so why bother working on the body level when you could go right to the source? Anna continued to worsen until it affected every area of her life. She often made mistakes booking clients because of the brain fog, and when they complained she sometimes snapped at them. She was losing income and in desperation finally went to a chiropractor. After one treatment she felt her near-constant headache clear. Her chiropractor recommended some supplements and after just one week she felt much better. Anna felt like a fool for having waited so long to get help. But she learned an important lesson about working with the body level, which is also energy. The spiritual bypassing in this example is ignoring the body level.

I hope this post about spiritual bypassing examples is helpful. Spiritual bypassing is one of the many traps on the journey of the spiritual seeker. Being aware of what spiritual bypassing looks like can help us avoid wasting time in this trap.