Why Siblings Experience Trauma Differently

It’s one of the most frequent questions I am asked by clients who experienced trauma during childhood. Why did it affect me so much more than my siblings? This disparity in experience, and its after-effect, can reinforce negative beliefs that childhood trauma can bring on. One of the main beliefs I see, when one child is suffering more than others about childhood occurrences, is there must be something wrong with me. In this post I want to explore why two or more children can live in the same household, with the same parents, and experience dysfunction completely differently.

Since I am a Timeline Healing practitioner, I have the unique experience of observing the various energetic patterns that contribute to differences in traumatic experience. Timeline Healing is a spiritually-based therapy that can be used to resolve trauma. What I love about Timeline Healing is that once the energy of the situation is understood, beliefs such as “there must be something wrong with me” easily resolve.

Here are the top reasons I see for different reactions to traumas that occurred in the same household:

• Misogyny. I know a woman who suffered emotionally because of her upbringing. All of her brothers seemed fine. She had frequent bouts of anxiety and depression. During Timeline Healing we discovered a deep-rooted belief in the inferiority of women in the family. My client saw that the men were taking energy (vampirism) from the women and mistreating the females in the family. She saw that even though she was raised in the United States, she had been taught that she was inferior to men. She had internalized the mistreatment as the belief that “there must be something wrong with me.” After Timeline Healing she understood that her anxiety and depression had been normal reactions to being emotionally abused, and that she could heal.
• Gender bias. Sometimes parents have unresolved issues with a particular gender, and then project those negative feelings towards children of that sex.
• Male / female interactions. I know someone who was sexually abused by a male elder in the family. His sister had been sexually abused too. She was able to resolve the trauma quite easily while he suffered and he wondered why. During Timeline Healing we discovered he had a deep conflict about being abused by someone of the same sex. He also felt less inclined to talk about his experiences and felt compelled to hold them in. In the patriarchal energy humanity is just starting to shift out of, men and boys are not allowed to cry or release their emotions.
• Nervous system differences. Many of my clients are sensitive and empathic. Their nervous systems are delicate. Growing up in a household where the emotional set-point is negative, even if there is not much outright abuse, can be traumatizing for an empath. I have many empathic, gifted clients who suffered because they did not receive the anchoring of high frequencies they needed as children. It’s never too late, though, and this anchoring can be done in adulthood.
• Differences in levels of consciousness (LOC). I know a woman who was very much the highest frequency in her household. Her parents were very egoic, focused on material success above all, and competitive. This sensitive, sweet, girl suffered in that household while her siblings seemed to thrive. During Timeline Healing we discovered that her family came to live in the patriarchal energies for one more lifetime while she came to embody the higher frequencies available in this time.
• Dysfunctional family roles. In families with narcissistic behaviors, one child is usually the golden child – the one who can do no wrong, while another is the scapegoat, always taking the blame for family problems.
• Being the healthy one in a dysfunctional family. I know many people who grew up in dysfunctional homes and called out the dysfunction, only to be demonized. Calling a spade a spade is one of the highest spiritual practices. I know several people who called out mistreatment and dysfunction within their family of origin, but the other members preferred to leave the shadow unresolved. Instead they were blamed for being a trouble-maker.

If you are struggling to make sense of childhood trauma or mistreatment, I hope this post gives you an idea of why siblings can experience family dysfunction so differently.